I am happy to announce that I found a tour group to join up with and I am now going to England. I make the final payment tomorrow and get all the info in the next couple of weeks. I know I leave on May 5 and won't be back until May 19th. Both flights are at reasonable times and I got the tickets for $800 roundtrip! I'll post my itinerary later, but I can't explain how tangible this is now that the money is paid. I feel so excited I just want to scream shout and dance, but that is a hard thing to do with your parents watching you. haha.
I do have some minor stress about finding a job. I have applied to the AMC movie theater where I used to work, but they haven't received my application and thus can't schedule me. I am very suspicious of this though, because my cousin Ryan said he just started right away and did the application later. Sigh, such is life for me.
I have an interview tomorrow and am totally freaking out about it, but it is a part time position. I am also realizing that even though it pays three dollars more than I have made anywhere else I have every worked at in my life, I will only get about 18 hours a week. The reason for this sort of let down is that I was hoping I could move out this August. This is not looking good even if I get the job I am interviewing for. I am worried that the stress of living on my own going, again, paycheck to paycheck is going to make my grades drop which is something I can't afford. I have lived on my own and understand the stress.
I am also concerned that I won't get into the teaching program at Weber State and will have to apply somewhere else. Getting my bachelors complicates things because it is either I just go through the motions and get the certification or technically another bachelors or I do the masters program which is even more intense work, but with my mediocre GPA I am not sure they would even consider accepting me. All of this and if I move out that would really put my stress level at a high range. I have considered just getting the certification and then going back for a masters, but that would mean another year or two of school and I really don't think I want to do that at this stage in the game.
Maybe I need to just stick my mind out there and see what I can do, but I honestly can say that I fear failure above all other things. I fear falling behind and not being good enough. I fear disappointing my family, again. I pray for patience for the things to come and come what may I just stand and move forward because that is all I can do. It is maddening!
3 comments:
Congrats on England! I'm very jealous. Have fun. And as far as everything else goes, I know how you feel. When you get to that point of wanting so badly to be independent and on your own and out of your parents' house it gets hard. I've been there. And as you well know, it's even harder when you've lived on your own and then move back in...I've done that too. Never an easy thing, but hang in there and don't get too anxious to get out before it's the right time. I'm sure you'll figure things out in time. Hang in there. HAVE FUN IN ENGLAND!
Thank you Casandra for your encouraging words. It is beyond amazing to know that I'm actually going across the Atlantic to England. I don't always show it, but I am extremly grateful.
I'm completely jealous that you're going to England...but completely excited for you! You need/deserve a break.
Try not to stress too much. I know it sounds cliche but all you can do is the best you can do and no one can expect anything more. You'll get through! I believe in you!! *hugs*
love ya!
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