Lynnette, my roommate of over a year now has been forced to move out. She had to quit her job as a manager at Maurices because of various problems with her boss and the work environment. She had found a new job working at an insurance agency. However, this took certification and test taking which took longer than she expected. Slowly her money ran out and she told me last week that she had to leave. It is true that I wish she had informed me earlier stressed or not, but I also started to move forward with plans to paint the front room and clean the carpets.
It was odd. I was not very sad that she was leaving. I was eager and almost impatient. However, today, when the last of her things went out the door (minus a mirror and painting that she accidentally left behind) I felt a great void.It is true that my house looks rather sad at the moment with no drapes and various paint samples on the wall, but when I sat there by myself I quickly realized that the presence of Lynnette was gone. There was not feeling of someone else. It was all me. It was a rather interesting feeling that I soaked in for almost half and hour. The space was totally and wholly mine. I missed her presence, but I also felt so much liberation and yet the whole empty feeling was almost inescapable. It is very bipolar feeling of me.
I will miss Lynnette's laugh, her ability to make me laugh, our late night talks as we get ready for bed, the various plans to make the house our own, my grips with her not being outside of her own room and hers of my constant clutter, but most of all it was the coming home to someone. Knowing she was there even if asleep or awake. We were together and now it is over. Sighs and laments.
1 comment:
It's interesting how so many mixed feelings come with change. I feel ya girl. You'll learn to adapt, but don't let her out of your life. Call and hang out on your days off or stop by. Things become disconnected.
When I moved out of my parents house and in with Mike, I was so excited for that fresh start- I realized a month later how much I missed the simple noises, and dumb little things going on in the house. It wasn't a bad change, but I just had to learn to appreciate the new time to myself and set new goals for myself and him. Anyway, my advice is this: look for the good stuff in the change and make sure your roommate knows how much she's missed. :) You wouldn't want to lose a person you care about over a little move.
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